Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize