Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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