I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
