she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
