dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
