You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
