If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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