My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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