I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
so much tequila, so little girl.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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