Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
