Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
