i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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