we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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