Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
