So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Oh god it's open bar.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
