ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize