It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
