I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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