hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
