she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
