were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i think i have herpe
just one?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
