after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
