It's like a parade of train wrecks.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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