you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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