Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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