Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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