And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i think i have herpe
just one?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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