ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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