Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
