it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
