omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
