I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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