PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
