please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
