you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Dicks are not precious.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize