I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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