and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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