At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
