i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
