Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize