Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
