so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
