Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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