"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
