I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
So. Much. Porn.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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