Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
This is my life. Enjoy the view
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
