My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
