also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
