I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
