Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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