he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
tell me about the eggs
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