puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Is Oprah even human
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
