I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
And my parents said I crawled through the house
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
