Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I have aggressive nipples.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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