If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
