physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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