So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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