tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
