# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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