thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
