So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
