You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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