i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
