went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize