clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
